Dark Meat 259: Thanks For Nothin’

November 22nd, 2011

One could be grateful for the bounty of free music that one acquires during the year. To hell with that. I’m going to celebrate the music that I bought (for a change) and present some of it to you. And I encourage you to buy it, so some musicians can be thankful. Thankful that they don’t need a boy or girlfriend so they’ll have a place to live; thankful that instead, they can just use those people for sex.

* Paul Simon – Getting Ready For Christmas Day
* They Might Be Giants – Authenticity Trip
* Brigitte Bardot – Bonnie and Clyde
* David Lynch – Strange And Unproductive Thinking
* Jonathan Coulton – I Want You Gone
* Tally Hall – Fate Of The Stars
* Residents – The Lizard Lady

The show is sponsored today by iPrint Technologies! Click on the logo now, and login with the name “krause” and the password “daniel” to get mighty fine deals on ink and toner, even printers.

Dark Meat Leftovers: Market Research Is The Root Of All Evil

November 15th, 2011

This is a special show – in 1997, conceptual artists Komar and Melamid teamed with musician David Soldier to create a special project – the most and least liked songs, as determined by market research. The results turn up here, on the show. For more on how this music was put together, read Mr. Soldier’s comments below:

This survey confirms the hypothesis that today’s popular music indeed provides an accurate estimate of the wishes of the vox populi. The most favored ensemble, determined from a rating by participants of their favorite instruments in combination, comprises a moderately sized group (three to ten instruments) consisting of guitar, piano, saxophone, bass, drums, violin, cello, synthesizer, with low male and female vocals singing in rock/rb style. The favorite lyrics narrate a love story, and the favorite listening circumstance is at home. The only feature in lyric subjects that occurs in both most wanted and unwanted categories is “intellectual stimulation.” Most participants desire music of moderate duration (approximately 5 minutes), moderate pitch range, moderate tempo, and moderate to loud volume, and display a profound dislike of the alternatives. If the survey provides an accurate analysis of these factors for the population, and assuming that the preference for each factor follows a Gaussian (i.e. bell-curve) distribution, the combination of these qualities, even to the point of sensory overload and stylistic discohesion, will result in a musical work that will be unavoidably and uncontrollably “liked” by 72 plus or minus 12% (standard deviation; Kolmogorov-Smirnov statistic) of listeners.

 

The most unwanted music is over 25 minutes long, veers wildly between loud and quiet sections, between fast and slow tempos, and features timbres of extremely high and low pitch, with each dichotomy presented in abrupt transition. The most unwanted orchestra was determined to be large, and features the accordion and bagpipe (which tie at 13% as the most unwanted instrument), banjo, flute, tuba, harp, organ, synthesizer (the only instrument that appears in both the most wanted and most unwanted ensembles). An operatic soprano raps and sings atonal music, advertising jingles, political slogans, and “elevator” music, and a children’s choir sings jingles and holiday songs. The most unwanted subjects for lyrics are cowboys and holidays, and the most unwanted listening circumstances are involuntary exposure to commericals and elevator music. Therefore, it can be shown that if there is no covariance—someone who dislikes bagpipes is as likely to hate elevator music as someone who despises the organ, for example—fewer than 200 individuals of the world’s total population would enjoy this piece.

The show is sponsored today by iPrint Technologies! Click on the logo now, and login with the name “krause” and the password “daniel” to get mighty fine deals on ink and toner, even printers.

Dark Meat 258: Strings Horns Drums

November 8th, 2011

I’m a sucker for anything Amanda Palmer throws out there, so today’s show is built on a song she just put out that I love. And incidentally, I was shopping over the weekend and spotted a uke in a grocery store for only $14, so they’re cheaper than she says. While I’m at it, buy her song, because they’re as cheap as you want them to be.

Oh, enjoy the rest of the show too.
* Devo – Devo Corporate Anthem
* Amanda Palmer – Ukulele Anthem
* The Beatles – While My Guitar Gently Weeps (Demo)
* Sandy Nelson – Beat that Drum
* Super Furry Animals – The Horn
* Bert Kaempfert – Fluter’s Holiday
* Rupert Holmes – Second Saxophone
* Martin Denny – Jungle Drums
* Monkees – Listen To the Band

The show is sponsored today by iPrint Technologies! Click on the logo now, and login with the name “krause” and the password “daniel” to get mighty fine deals on ink and toner, even printers.

Dark Meat 257: I Was Young Once

November 1st, 2011

I went on a little vinyl-ripping binge this week and dug up some of my old albums. At least two of the songs tonight are simply not in print and probably never will be again, so attention collectors!

* Flowers – After Dark
* Lene Lovich – Home
* Monkees – Goin’ Down
* Humans – Play
* Gang of Four – Love Like Anthrax
* Joe Jackson – Fools In Love
* Kevin Ayers – Falling In Love Again
* The Fools – Spent the Rent
* Ian Hunter – Standing In My Light
* Maynard Williams – Down On The Farm

The show is sponsored today by iPrint Technologies! Click on the logo now, and login with the name “krause” and the password “daniel” to get mighty fine deals on ink and toner, even printers.

Dark Meat 256: The Only Holiday That Matters

October 25th, 2011

The only holiday that matters, Halloween! Really, it’s always Halloween here at Dark Meat Central, but once a year we get to make it explicit. Put this show on a loop at your Halloween Party. Warning: like the thing that wouldn’t leave, the show is a little long this week. If you’re in a hurry, it’s your worst nightmare.

* Kevin Ayers – Confessions Of Dr. Dream
* Tom Waits – The Ocean Doesn’t Want Me Today
* Leonard Cohen – Who By Fire
* Kinks – Wicked Annabella
* The Bird and The Bee – Witch
* Doug Duke – Witchcraft
* Stan Ridgway – Monsters of the Id
* Sparks – Eaten By The Monster Of Love
* David Bowie – Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps)
* Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds – Song of Joy

The show is sponsored today by iPrint Technologies! Click on the logo now, and login with the name “krause” and the password “daniel” to get mighty fine deals on ink and toner, even printers.

Dark Meat 255: Countdown

October 17th, 2011

Everything about you and me can be broken down and quantified into a series of numbers. Especially me. So let’s enjoy songs about all our favorite digits except zero, which doesn’t have any good songs.

PRODUCTION NOTE: Some of you may have downloaded the first version of the show, in which I had managed to erase my narration in the first half. Congratulations! It is a valuable collector’s item. However, if you’d like a more complete show it’s now available for download below.

* Lene Lovich – Lucky Number
* Katie Melua – Nine Million Bicycles
* David Bowie – Eight Line Poem
* Brian Eno – Seven Deadly Finns
* The Blanks – Six Million Dollar Man
* The Vogues – 5 O’Clock World
* Barry Grey Orchestra – Four Feather Falls
* Roxy Music – Three and Nine
* Kevin Ayers, Brian Eno, John Cale and Nico – Two Goes Into Four
* Harry Nilsson – One
* Owada – 1-100

The show is sponsored today by iPrint Technologies! Click on the logo now, and login with the name “krause” and the password “daniel” to get mighty fine deals on ink and toner, even printers.

Dark Meat 254: Not Deceiving Myself

October 11th, 2011

Self-deception is a valuable tool that helps us all get through our often miserable lives. Let’s examine it a little more closely, shall we? What? You have a party to go to with millionaires? Ok, go on. I’ll just listen by myself. Just me and my thousand fans.

* Eno – The Great Pretender
* Rupert Holmes – Studio Musician
* Scott Walker – Time Operator
* Chelsea Williams – June Carter
* Jonathan Coulton – Je Suis Rick Springfield
* Jamie Cullum – Frontin’
* David Bowie – Never Get Old
* Foo Fighters – Baker Street

The show is sponsored today by iPrint Technologies! Click on the logo now, and login with the name “krause” and the password “daniel” to get mighty fine deals on ink and toner, even printers.

Dark Meat Leftovers: Like A Rug

October 4th, 2011

I swear I was going to put up a new show tonight (this is so old, I was still married when I recorded it) but I had this terrible emergency. My FOOT EXPLODED. It just blew up, and I needed to hobble over to the emergency room, over 30 miles away. And I saved Christmas on my way there. Anyway, the show is about transparent lies. Enjoy!

* Julian Cope – Safesurfer
* Miss Kelly Johnson – Don’t Lie To Me
* Candypants – Fake It
* Randy Newman – Big Hat, No Cattle
* Eminem – ’97 Bonnie & Clyde
* Joe Jackson – The Best I Can Do
* Colorblind James Experience – He Must Have Been Quite A Guy

The show is sponsored today by iPrint Technologies! Click on the logo now, and login with the name “krause” and the password “daniel” to get mighty fine deals on ink and toner, even printers.

Dark Meat 253: Hey Big Spender

September 27th, 2011

Money don’t buy everything it’s true, but what it don’t get, I can’t use. Except this podcast, which is completely free for you! So take THAT to the bank!

* Combustible Edison – The Millionaire’s Holiday
* 10CC – Art For Art’s Sake
* Frank Sinatra – Pennies From Heaven
* Spinal Tap – Cash On Delivery
* Kinks – The Moneygoround
* Basement Jaxx (featuring Siouxie Sioux) – Cish Cash
* Dave Frishberg – My Attorney Bernie
* Joe Jackson – Fifty Dollar Love Affair
* Sugarplastic – Transworld Modal Operator

The show is sponsored today by iPrint Technologies! Click on the logo now, and login with the name “krause” and the password “daniel” to get mighty fine deals on ink and toner, even printers.

Dark Meat 252 – Frankenstein’s Monster

September 20th, 2011

Why is the show called Frankenstein’s Monster? Because like the creature, it’s composed of body parts. Send up the kites!

* New Classic Swingers – No Matter What Shape (Your Stomach’s In)
* Nick Cave And the Bad Seeds – Red Right Hand
* Brian Eno – Needle In The Camel’s Eye
* Jonathan Coulton – Artificial Heart
* The Cutting Crew – (I Just) Died In Your Arms
* Chewy Marble – Picture The Finger
* Shaggs – My Pal Foot Foot
* Sugarplastic – Ottowa Bonesaw
* Frank Sinatra – I’ve Got You Under My Skin

The show is sponsored today by iPrint Technologies! Click on the logo now, and login with the name “krause” and the password “daniel” to get mighty fine deals on ink and toner, even printers.